The last push at the end of the race is always worth it.  If you do push, you’ll be in horrible pain.  But the pain lasts for ten, twenty, thirty seconds, or one minute.  Don’t push, and the pain of what could have been will last so much longer.  Always push yourself.

I know how easy it is to idealize the anorexia. It seems so safe and comfortable and easy. It promises that you will be the best, the skinniest, the prettiest, and that everyone will be jealous and simultaneously want to be your friend. Reality check. That is a crock of shit. I know it sometimes feels like you could go back to the eating disorder and just be “better” at it. But I’ve made that mistake and I’ve made it many times. It would break my heart to see you give away years of your life chasing after this bullshit illusion that doesn’t exist.

Here is what will happen if you go back: You won’t have to deal with life or your feelings. That is the truth. I’ve spent years in that place. It’s safe and comfortable. But it’s only half-alive.

One day you wake up and realize that you’ve never been in love or made real friends or graduated college or taken the GRE or gotten work experience or had fun or fucking anything. It is hard to look back on wasted years. Believe me, I know.

You will feel shitty in the eating disorder. No one will want to be around you because you will be a boring, neurotic mess. You will lose the things you really want.

It’s tempting to get sick so that you can be taken care of. Remember that I am here and I am listening. You don’t have to write your pain on your body. You can say it out loud. I will hear you.

Part of the letter my friend from treatment left for me today. (via bravegirl-living)

This was really hard to read, and that’s probably why I needed to read it.

(via rolll-away)


Morning guys. I hope you remember today that if you slip up you can restart your day at any time. You don’t have to wait til the next day to start over. Just sit down, breathe for a few minutes, and start again.